My wife, Sissy Cutchen, wrote this blog in honor of "The Month of the Military Child." I'm sure it will speak to many of you and I hope you enjoy reading it.
Regards, Clutch
When my husband and I attended a Returning Warrior Weekend
the feedback included this comment, “Why didn’t you let your wife speak?”
Consequently I am honored and touched to be his guest blogger. I am especially
pleased to blog during the Month of the Military Child, as I consider the
issues surrounding military children one of my greatest concerns and my success
as a military mom my crowning achievement.
Very early in my life as a Navy spouse, at every dining out
I would say, “Bryan, ask Mr. Vice if I can make a toast.” My toast would always
be the same, “To our children who serve without a choice and without a voice!”
In those days, I would sometimes be approached by an officer who took exception
to what I said. They would want to point out my children were “not serving.”
In 2005-2007 Peter Pace was Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, I
wrote him about our children’s service. He wrote me back, and for the first
time, I actually found someone who agreed with my opinion. He also was one of
the first senior military officers to express awareness that military children also
serve.
While 2007 was only 7 years ago; the idea we recognize our
children’s service is a new one. We have come a long way since the culture of
military life portrayed in movies like “The Great Santini.” A time when many
military children lived in a world of “suck it up” and “attention on deck.” Telling our children, “Thank you for your
service” is a progressive change in culture. I propose that we can do even
better than a “thank you.” For many children I don’t think “Thank you for your
service” is meaningful. It doesn’t change how they feel about themselves. It
doesn’t make them feel rewarded. They move into too many new houses, they eat
lunch alone at too many new schools, and they say good-bye to too many good
friends for just a “thank you.” In actuality, their sacrifices are supporting a
career that is someone else’s goal.
However, that career is inspired by those very children. It is inspired to
keep them safe, to provide a strong nation, and a bright future.
So, this is
what worked for our family. Every morning I told my children, “At least you can
know you are serving your country.” And we didn’t just acknowledge their
sacrifice; we reminded them, their service inspired us to serve. In many different ways we let them know
they played a role. When my husband got a medal, sometimes he would give the
kids a medal too. In these small ways our children were moved to feel a spirit
of service.
So, I am advocating for a progression in our awareness and
expression of our military children’s experience. I am advocating for the
message of “Thank You for your service” to evolve. Yes, I want us to be
thankful, but I want us to start telling the world “Our military children
inspire our service” and to start telling our children “You inspire me to serve
my country.” I for one would rather be told I inspired something, than to be
thanked. A young person who can inspire someone, and consequently, can be
inspired, is on their way to being an awesome citizen.
Just a blog thought from the Admiral’s other half, and the
mother of Ensign Max Cutchen and Petty Officer Annie Cutchen.
-Sissy Cutchen Navy wife, Navy Mom, Navy sister
-Sissy Cutchen Navy wife, Navy Mom, Navy sister
